饲养手册(1 / 2)

月明星稀,清风徐徐。

唐僧吃着斋饭,大晚上的不急着赶路,他终于能慢条斯理地吃顿饭了。瞧着小和尚举手投足的优雅气质,我一手撑着下巴,唇边挂着浅笑。突然,耳朵被拧了下。

我翻了个白眼,回头瞪向猴哥,再拧耳朵我都要变成猪八戒了!

“长得好看的和尚你也花痴啊!”猴哥坐没个坐相的,刚从房梁上下来,这会儿又翻身跳到了破旧的案台上,笑嘻嘻地调侃我。

我也不以为耻,泰然自若地回答:“爱美之心人皆有之,长得好看就多看两眼咯,下饭知道吗!”

猴哥哼笑:“师父是比很多光溜溜好看,不过也就那样了。”

我挥挥手:“就你那眼光,看猴子去吧!”

被我这么一怼,猴哥也不闹,笑嘻嘻几声便没了声息。我觉得奇怪,平常吵嘴他可不会轻易认输的。抬眼去看,案台上哪里还有他的猴影。

“猴哥?”

发现他不见了,我不禁张望起来,直到后背被拍了下,我下意识回头。一眼望见一个冲我笑嘻嘻的少年,金色刘海略显凌乱,长长的发辫搭在肩上,作一身简单侠士打扮。再仔细看他容貌,明眸皓齿,挺鼻薄唇,浅金色的眼影点缀着眼尾,带着几分戾气。

“嗯~可是你喜欢的样子?”

我几乎都要沉迷美颜无法自拔了,忽然猴哥的声音就响了起来。他冲我好一番眨眼,上手就捏着我脸用力一扯。

这才看清金发少年脑袋上的金箍,我靠!是猴哥变的好嘛!我料想猴哥就是想惹我生气,我偏不随他愿。眼珠子一转,我便计上心头,反正我是个花痴,将计就计地一把搂住猴哥的手臂。

“哇!好帅好迷人哦!你是谁家的小哥哥呀?大大求嫁!么么哒一个?”

“俺是你老爹!你有点节操吧。”被我反将一军的猴哥装不下去,用手撑住我作势靠近的脸,决心要抖开我。

我嬉皮笑脸地冲他吐舌头:“哼,猴哥你变的时候把金箍也记得藏着。还想骗我?而且变成这么个少年模样,到头来还是我占便宜啊。”

猴哥一咬牙,转身一挥手,再变了副青面獠牙的长舌恶鬼模样扑过来,嘴里大笑道:“有本事你对着这模样也啃下去!”

我靠!

颜值控的我是万万不能受的,我提起裙子赶忙避开,绕着唐僧转圈圈地跑:“不了不了,猴哥我知道错了!”

同样绕着唐僧转圈圈跑的猴哥不依不饶:“晚了!”

被我俩绕来绕去弄的吃不好饭的唐僧终于叹口气,刚要喊住猴哥,结果一抬头就对上猴哥那能止小儿夜哭的模样。当下一口气没顺上来,被吓晕过去了。

猴哥:“……师父?”

我:“……小唐?”

猴哥终于变回原本模样,扶起地上的唐僧,很是不可置信地说:“俺把师父吓晕了?”

我双手合十,后退一步:“阿弥陀佛,不管我事。”

把唐僧抱到稻草铺就的床上躺着,猴哥看了又看,终于忍不住吐槽:“这也太不惊吓了。”

我无语:“人家年纪还小,咱们什么岁数啊。除了宠着还能怎么样。何况你刚刚那样子,我都犯怵。”

猴哥一拍大腿,赌气道:“算了算了,以后俺不吓着他就是了。”

真是个大宝宝。

先是被我一拳打晕,现在又被猴哥吓晕。怎么觉得唐僧的磨难都是我和猴哥给的,不过把他练的皮糙肉厚些也好。夜深了,气温骤降,我想着唐僧受不得着凉。从行李中找出一床薄被,猴哥好奇地看着我。

“你又作甚?”

“晚上冷,要记得给凡人小唐盖被子。还有他嘴巴皮子干了,得涂抹点水润唇。”

猴哥抓耳挠腮地看着我做这些细致活,他收敛脾气,跟在我后面转悠。这小木屋还是不够挡风,我将那废弃的案台拆碎,弄好后一转身就撞上猴哥。

我:“你跟在我后面踩影子玩啊!”

猴哥:“谁那么幼稚了,就是想看看你还要干啥。”

我:“被子薄了,烧点火给小唐暖和。”

猴哥:“嗨,这好办。”

打了个响指,柴火就燃烧了起来。猴哥一副神气的样子,我莫名想撸他的猴子毛。忍住!这是猴哥!不是普通猴子。

猴哥又问:“你这些照顾人的本事哪里学来的?”

我挑眉:“你忘记我帮你大哥照顾儿子的事情了吗?”

猴哥一拍脑门:“还真是,看来照顾那小牛崽子也不是全然无用啊。”

我:“不过小唐比红孩儿更娇柔,要小心呵护才是。”

猴哥眨眨眼嗷了一声,算是认同了我的说法。

我想了想,猴哥还是要和唐僧多增加感情的,我便将水囊里的水倒入了金钵中,递给猴哥,劝道:“你是大徒弟,可要给以后的徒儿们做好榜样哦,来,喂水这种重量级工作就交给你了!”

“这还不好办么。”

猴哥胸有成足,拿过金钵就走到唐僧身边。我莫名有种不好的预感是怎么回事,我探头一瞧,猴哥一手掰开唐僧的嘴,另一只手就将金钵送了过去,顿顿顿地就将钵里的水往里面灌。本来晕死过去的唐僧居然被呛醒了,涨红了脸,咳嗽个不停,想说话又被堵着说不出,手脚乱划。

我赶忙上前拉住猴哥还要灌水的行为:“够了够了!猴哥!放过小唐!”

猴哥一脸单纯:“我看师父还没喝够啊。”

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