80. 光棍生活(2 / 2)

丁丁举起盛着白酒的灰色保温杯,跟方自归的小饭盆一碰,然后一口烈酒进入丁丁口中,再发出又像是享受又像是叹息的一声:“啊——”

如果以“共同语言”为首要标准,最有可能跟甄语发展出爱情的就是老夏,因为甄语跟老夏最聊得来。可因为丁丁的关系,老夏就不好意思与甄语聊得太多,走得太近。

室友们觉得,甄语也确实不对,放着一个美人胚子在学校里晃来晃去竟然不谈恋爱,在美女紧缺的工大,绝对是浪费宝贵的战略资源。

可甄语不谈恋爱却有自己充足的理由。比如甄语看老夏和丁丁这两位,老夏是红脸膛,丁丁是黑脸膛,而自己的脸蛋白白净净,就觉得自己跟老夏和丁丁都不搭。那时,甄语就是过于文艺了,她就想不到,许多过来人是总结过的,幸福家庭的最佳组合,是应该一个人唱白脸一个人唱红脸,或者一个人唱白脸一个人唱黑脸的。

比较而言,朱斗妍就知道互补的道理,她的爱情就更为务实。李向红与朱斗妍的兴趣爱好不太一样,李向红皮肤黑朱斗妍皮肤白,但两人仍然擦出了爱情的火花。

老夏说:“来,大家一起喝一个。”

三个喝白酒的和五个喝啤酒的都举起各自的容器,大家互相碰杯。

喝完一口酒,阿远对方自归说:“完治真傻。神,你将来不会做这种傻事吧?”

方自归心想自己过去差点儿做了这种傻事,但还是否认道:“那当然不会。莉香很可爱,我们家莞尔也很可爱,我是绝不会放弃的。”

完治和莉香是《东京爱情故事》的男主和女主。这部剧,讲的就是小城青年完治在机场遇到了东京姑娘莉香,然后莉香爱上了同学们以为有些傻乎乎的来自小县城的完治,爱情故事就此展开。这与上海姑娘莞尔爱上了同学们以为有些傻乎乎的县城小伙方自归相似,但与电视剧非常不同的是,此时的方自归爱莞尔爱得死心塌地,可电视剧的大结局,却是完治抛弃了迷人的莉香,选择与那个同学们以为有些傻乎乎的县城姑娘里美结合了。这让室友们都很难接受,兽和韩不少尤其痛心,比他们自己在上外泡妞屡屡碰壁更痛心。因为,他们碰壁已经碰习惯了,可漂亮、活泼、勇敢、纯情的莉香竟然被傻乎乎的完治拒绝,让他们很不习惯。他们为了莉香痛恨完治,痛恨东京所有那些不解风情的混蛋。全剧终时,韩不少发出一声长啸,兽随后就写了一首诗。

此时红着脸的韩不少说:“完治真是个傻瓜!”

兽说:“莉香这么好的姑娘,怎么我就遇不到?”

狗子叹道:“在工大,系不可能有莉香这种类型的姑凉滴!”

虽然大家都看剧,但看得最荡气回肠如醉如狂的,是韩不少这个被爱情遗忘得特别彻底的角落。

看第一遍时,韩不少已经很忘我了,谁知《东京爱情故事》创下了上海电视台的收视率纪录,电视台很快又把该剧重播了一遍,然后韩不少又一集不落地看了一遍。而看第二遍时,韩不少的境界就从“忘我”到了“失常”。

这时的韩不少,早已经不再蹲在凳子上吃饭了,可就是因为这部剧,韩不少高超的行为艺术天赋又被激发了出来。韩不少第二遍看剧时,手里拿个剪刀……注意,这是他看第一遍时没有的……出于对完治抛弃莉香的出离愤怒,他用小剪刀剪他的络腮胡子时,就一边儿盯着电视屏幕。当男主角完治在电视上出现,韩不少就张开剪刀,贴近电视屏幕上完治的裆部,“咔嚓”一剪刀,然后骂道:“鸡鸡剪掉。妈的你是不是男人?”

缺少爱情,确实是寝室里七大光棍大学生涯里最大的痛点,光棍们多少都有点儿失常。

看剧第一个失常的韩不少,这时喝酒也第一个失常了。韩不少的酒量本来就差,也许开始几口也灌得稍微猛了一点儿,上半场还没结束,桌上还有好多小菜,脚下还有一瓶白酒两箱啤酒没开,韩不少就首先精神恍惚,醉眼迷离,倒在了兽的床上。

方自归一只手撑着红扑扑的脸,一只手端着盛酒的小饭盆,笑道:“韩不少的酒量,还不如丁丁梦移的量大。”

话音刚落,丁丁“噗”地一口,把嘴里的酒菜喷了出来,污染了一大片桌面。

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