第98章 组队一起搞相声(1/3)(2 / 2)

文骚 泥白佛 1332 字 2022-09-20

郭老师笑容满脸,肥腻的大脸宛如盛开的雏菊,“封寒同学,你这几天让我好找啊!”

“郭老师,找我干啥?”

“你听着嘿,”郭老师起了个范儿,“我请你吃蒸羊羔,蒸熊掌……”

老郭这是让封寒检查他的练习情况呢,嚯,这语速,这节奏,标准啊!甚至已经超过了封寒的水平!或许这就是传说中的天赋异禀吧~

封寒最后叫好道,“郭老师厉害,听了这个,我上午的课怕是听不进去了,已经有点饿了~”

郭老师嘿嘿笑道,“那个,你除了这个报菜名,还有没有别的这种段子啊,我还想学~”

这是要把自己文艺细胞榨干的节奏啊!

有倒是有,不过在这里用不上,贯口分大贯儿和小贯儿,大贯儿一般上百句,最经典的有两大贯,一个自然就是《报菜名》,能和它媲美的只有《地理图》。

所谓的不能用,就是指的这个《地理图》,世事变化,那个位面地理图里的地名大部分都不一样了,有的国家不存在了,或者换了别的马甲,韵脚都押不上了,最重要的是,一些国内地名限于政策,一旦念出来,就会变成*****。

所以面对郭老师的强烈请求,封寒又教了一个谜语贯口,“什么上山吱扭扭,什么下山乱点头,什么有头无有尾,什么有尾无有头,什么有腿家中坐,什么没腿游卞州,赵州桥什么人修,玉石栏杆什么人留,什么人骑驴桥上走,什么人推车轧道沟,什么人扛刀桥上站,什么人勒马看春秋,什么人拉着什么人是哈哈笑,什么人拉着什么人是泪交流,什么人白,什么人黑,什么人胡子一大堆,什么圆圆在天边,什么圆圆在眼前,什么圆圆长街卖,什么圆圆道两边,什么开花节节高,什么开花毛着腰,什么开花无人见,什么开花一嘴毛,什么鸟穿青又穿白,什么鸟穿出皂靴来,什么鸟身披十样锦,什么鸟身披麻布口袋?……”(为了避免说我水,下面的谜底老佛就不说了,厚道吧~)

封寒也是在图书馆里练了好久,才能顺着背下来,但远不如报菜名说的溜,不过这也足够让老郭目瞪口呆的了。

他早早就打开了手机录音,待封寒一口气说完,老郭赞叹不已,“你这脑子是怎么想的啊,太厉害了,这都是你自己编的?”

“是的啊,”封寒觍(tian)着脸道,“要不郭老师也帮帮我,我闲着无聊就爱想这种东西,不过一个人的力量终究有限嘛~”

“那我能帮什么呢?”郭老师认真了。

封寒觉得地理图这么埋没了可惜,“郭老师,我还很有一个构思,这个构思叫地理图……”封寒大概讲了讲地理图这个超级大贯儿的说法,并先表明自己知识浅薄,没有走过万里路,知道的地名太少。

老郭听了哈哈大笑,“这个我在行,每到寒暑假,郭老师我最喜欢的就是到处去旅游,我还考了导游证呢,这个我能编啊!”

“那太好了,其实吧,我写的这些东西算是一种新型喜剧表演形式的基本功,就是磨练嘴皮子的,要是郭老师你真写成了,等到国庆文艺汇演的时候,咱俩可以搭档登台演出啊,本子我来写!”封寒诱惑道。

还别说,老郭爱秀,这话算是说到他心坎里去了,“一言为定!”

“几匹马都难追!”

搞定了李老师和郭老师,封寒心里美滋滋,然而到了教室门口,又遇到一个小个子,真的很小的个子,离近了,封寒需要低头跟他说话。

对方先开口,“你就是高二4班的封寒吧。”

“是我。”

“人们都说鹊桥仙是你写的,真的?”他问。

“真的,怎么了?”封寒活动了一下有些累的颈椎,只听噼里啪啦一阵响。

“啊~!”对方吓了一跳,踉踉跄跄后退几步,“别打我!”

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