108 一石二鸟的计划(1 / 2)

百诡夜宴 琦想 0 字 2021-12-11

    年后,我又闲着无事了,便找来区东和油炸鬼一起去打台球。韩婕和黄丽君年前答应的事情也终于有了回话:李丹还没男朋友呢!

    因为这个,我们仨见面的时候又免不了拿油炸鬼来开玩笑,说他脱单的机会来了。油炸鬼在我们面前倒是能放开些,但还是对如何搭讪女生完全没有经验。他先来问我,道:“牛腩胜,你小子脸皮最厚了,居然把我们班的两大美女都追了一遍,还不赶紧给我传授传授一些秘诀!”

    我笑道:“没秘诀,就像你说的,就靠脸皮厚!”

    “我不信!你小子不厚道,总爱背地里瞒着我们去泡妞!”油炸鬼完全不吃我这一套,又来纠缠我。

    唉,这小子真没眼力劲!难道我还在区东面前跟你讲,当初我是怎么把黄丽君追到手的么?我翻了翻白眼,一脚把他踢开。我道:“你去问区东!他的脸皮比我还厚!”

    区东倒是不管羞不管臊,他是痞子气、混不吝的一个人。他一边吐着烟圈,一边淡定道:“脸皮?想泡妞,你还要脸皮做啥用?赶紧的,先把你那张猴脸扔一边去,别靠我这么近!”

    油炸鬼见我们两头都嫌弃他,又开始抱怨道:“哎,我说你们两个,还是不是好哥们?韩婕她们都去问了李丹了,人家这会儿肯定知道是我在问她的情况,我现在是赶鸭子上架,下不来了呀!”

    我见他真急了,便笑骂道:“你看看你,才说两句就急,说明这脸面还是要的。我们俩教你的也没错呀,泡妞首先第一条,就是不能脸红,不能急!相反的,你最好能想办法把她给逗脸红了,那样你就成功一半了。”

    “果真如此?”油炸鬼半信半疑,又去问区东。区东摆架子,只应了“嗯”。油炸鬼便也信了,但说下次还要亲自问一问黄丽君是不是这么回事?

    这家伙,在女生面前一句完整话都说不出来,在我们面前却跟长了一张“唐僧嘴”似的,啥话都说,啥事儿都打听。自己的事儿还没搞明白呢,又去瞎打听区东的事儿。

    “哎,我说猪脚东,你追着黄丽君去到那么远的地方陪她上学,真的管用不?”

    区东眼一瞪,道:“咋不管用?我每天下午下了班就去接她下课,然后再一起去吃饭。她班上的同学都认识我,就算有几个弱鸡、胆小鬼想打她的主意的,也只能是干看着流口水!”

    “哦!那黄丽君不介意?”

    区东摇了摇头,道:“她介意什么?她还就喜欢我这样呢!”

    油炸鬼羡慕道:“你这家伙真有福气!找到了这么漂亮的一个女朋友!算你有本事儿!”他说这话的时候我就在旁边喝水呢,差点没噎着!妈蛋!那也是我前女友好不好?能不能不要那么露骨地称赞我的继任者!

    不过,我和区东已经就这件事情达成了共识,心里的结也早就解开了。更何况我现在有韩婕了,我倒不会因为这种傻话去记恨谁。但接下来油炸鬼的话却更加引起了我的兴趣。

    “哎,猪脚东,咱们这儿都是铁哥们,也没啥不好意思的。”油炸鬼又贱兮兮地挨到区东旁边,问他:“我就问你吧,你们俩在一块儿这么久了,又在异乡相依为命,有没有哈……有没有机会那个过?”

    “哪个?”区东一下子还听不懂他的意思。

    “就那个呀!”油炸鬼连比带划的,后来干脆一拍大腿,道:“就说你还是不是处男吧?”

    区东一听就笑了,露出一副得意洋洋的模样,道:“哦,这个呀?早不是了!”

    “卧槽!”油炸鬼大惊小怪地叫道。其实我在心里面也是喊的这句。

    区东这轻飘飘的一句话,就引得我们俩一阵羡慕。油炸鬼又去追问区东感觉怎样?爽不爽?区东的回答就是直接给了他一记爆栗:“废话!”

    油炸鬼还真是贱!在那边刚挨了一记揍,不长记性,转头又来问我。“牛腩胜,你那边呢?”

    我狠狠地瞪了他一眼,不想搭理他。他偏偏还死缠烂打,还接着问。我又是一脚,将他屁股底下的凳子踢掉,让他摔了个屁股墩儿,骂道:“关你什么事?”

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