第三十三章 天将降大任(八)(1 / 2)

    这是怎样一副令人毛骨悚然的画面啊:窗外电闪雷鸣,闪电劈开重重黑暗,将惨白如死人尸骨的光线射进屋内,借着那微弱的亮光,一个身高一米八的壮汉将自己的头以人类无法企及的角度扭到背后,对着长在自己后背上的一个女鬼破口大骂。而那名女鬼脸色煞白,一边疯狂地扭动着半截身体,一边发出凄厉的嚎叫,身上还冒出缕缕似隐似现的黑烟,说句实话,当时的我,真要疯了,这他妈那是和谐社会可能发生的事啊。

    可是,一切就真实的发生在我眼前,真实的甚至连那女鬼将头发上的泥土颗粒甩到我脸上的轻微触碰我都清晰地感觉到了,但是,我不怕不怕啦,为啥,因为我意识到,黎叔那老家伙真地回来了。

    以前很多模仿秀的节目,一些选手对于模仿的明星,确实从外形或声音上无可挑剔,但是,在高级的模仿,也不是天衣无缝,为什么,因为每个人的气质、经历都是一无二的,就此推论,一个人的内心的东西,自然也是无法复制的。所以,看着胖子口无遮拦的骂闲街的样子,我就可以肯定的说,只有黎叔那老痞子,才会有这样骂街不重样的气质,酷毙了。

    且不说黎叔骂街的精彩绝伦,再看看那浑身串烟、黑气缭绕的女鬼,正嘶声喊道:“你是谁,快离开我的宿主,啊。”那女鬼几次欲扑过来撕咬胖子(实际应该是黎叔),但尽管两个人的距离只有区区几厘米,却始终无法得逞,就好像两个人之间有一道透明的玻璃隔着似的。

    女鬼气急败坏,一双鸡蛋眼睛简直要喷出火来,我估计她此时应该很悲哀的想到一句很**的诗:这个世界上,最远的距离不是天涯海角,而是我和你只是咫尺之间,可我他妈的就是咬不到你!

    “黎叔,是你吗?”我弱弱的问了一句,不是装萌,实在是胖子刚才太使劲,把我的声带都掐坏了。

    “你们两个瘪犊子玩意儿,一会儿再和你们算账。”胖子用那双数码的小眼睛愠怒的瞅了我一眼,呀哈,我乐了,他那全是白眼仁的眼睛居然也恢复了正常。

    胖子话音未落,那名女鬼就像被闪电击中了一样,嗖的一下子从胖子的身体里弹了出去,并蜷缩在地上抖成一团,看来伤得不轻。

    这工夫,胖子很熟练的走到一个老式木柜前面,从里面翻出了一条黑乎乎的象鞭子一样的物件,不过,胖子刚拿到手里,就跟被烫了似的扔了出去,并粗声大嗓的喊我:“你趴在地上接地气儿呢,赶紧死过来,用这把柳条鞭往死抽她。”

    “啊?噢,好嘞。”我乍一开始有点蒙,但很快就醒过味来,记起黎叔曾跟我说过,柳树、槐树、柏树都是属阴的,特别是柳条打鬼,抽一下,鬼就矮三分。一想到这儿,我这个开心啊,奶奶的,你个死女鬼,你他妈刚才玩儿我们哥俩玩儿的很爽嘛,这回就让小爷给你来回“bdsm”吧。

    一想到这儿,我是心花怒放,屁颠屁颠的跑过去,将那条柳条鞭捡起来,然后斜肩谄媚地看着胖子:“彪子,啊,不是,黎叔,那我去了?”

    “快溜的,你娘娘们们的磨叽个蛋呀。”胖子一脸的不耐烦。

    我手持柳条鞭,小心翼翼的走到仍趴在地上玩儿颤栗的女鬼身后,心里不禁有些胆怯,毕竟,咱打过架、打过鸟,隔三差五的还打过手枪,可还真就没打过鬼啊,这玩意儿,好像还有真点难度啊。

    我有些尴尬的看看胖子:“黎叔,我这业务不熟,要不改革开放,您先给打个样儿?”

    胖子哭笑不得,恨铁不成钢的看着我:“哎呀,瞅你那熊样,连酒嗑都整出来了,我啥都不说了,我咋摊上你们这两个干啥啥不行、吃啥啥不剩的废物点心啊。”

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